501+ Borg Puns & Jokes One-Liners (2025–2026)

If you’ve ever watched Star Trek or heard someone mutter, “Resistance is futile,” you know the Borg have a special place in pop culture. These cybernetic beings aren’t just scary—they’re unintentionally hilarious once you start seeing the humor in their obsession with assimilation and their robotic catchphrases.  From clever wordplay to cheesy one-liners, Borg Puns & Jokes are a geeky delight that can tickle the funny bone of Trekkies and casual fans alike.

Whether you’re sharing them on social media, at a sci-fi convention, or just spicing up a conversation with friends, Borg humor is always a crowd-pleaser. So, grab your cybernetic implants (or your sense of humor) and prepare for 501+ Borg puns, jokes, and one-liners guaranteed to make you laugh… or at least raise an eyebrow.

1. Funny Borg One-Liners

1. I tried to make friends with a Borg… but it just said, “Resistance is futile.”
2. Borgs don’t have bad hair days—they have “assimilation days.”
3. I asked a Borg for directions. It assimilated the map.
4. Borg humor? It’s so dry, it needs a software update.
5. My Borg friend can’t tell a joke… it assimilates the punchline first.
6. You can’t play hide and seek with a Borg—they already know where you are.
7. I told a Borg a secret… now it’s everyone’s secret.
8. Borgs don’t procrastinate—they assimilate on time.
9. I offered a Borg coffee. It said, “We do not consume.”
10. I tried to prank a Borg… but it assimilated my prank.
11. Borgs always win at chess—they’ve already calculated every move.
12. I asked a Borg how it feels… it said, “Emotion is irrelevant.”
13. If a Borg is at a party, everyone leaves… eventually.
14. Borgs aren’t scary—they’re just socially awkward with lasers.
15. I gave a Borg a joke book. It said, “We already know all jokes.”

2. Borg Jokes for Kids

1. Why don’t Borgs ever get lost? They always follow the hive mind!
2. What do Borgs say at bedtime? “Sleep is futile, but fun is optional.”
3. Why did the Borg go to school? To assimilate knowledge!
4. What’s a Borg’s favorite game? Capture the human!
5. Why did the Borg cross the road? To assimilate the chicken.
6. How do Borgs celebrate birthdays? With a collective cheer!
7. What do you call a Borg with a sunburn? A little fried circuitry.
8. Why are Borgs bad at hide-and-seek? They can’t hide their lights.
9. What’s a Borg’s favorite snack? Microchips and bytes.
10. How do Borgs brush their teeth? With nano-robots!
11. Why did the Borg bring a ladder? To reach higher assimilation goals.
12. What’s a Borg’s favorite subject? Math—everything adds up!
13. Why do Borgs love computers? They feel right at home.
14. How does a Borg sing? With perfect robotic pitch.
15. Why don’t Borgs play tag? You can’t run from a collective.

3. Borg Pickup Lines

1. Are you a Borg cube? Because you’ve just assimilated my heart.
2. You must be part Borg… because resistance to you is futile.
3. Are we connected to the collective? Because I feel synced with you.
4. Do you like sci-fi? Because I find you more logical than most humans.
5. Are you an implant? Because you completed me.
6. You must be from Starfleet… because you’ve just captured my attention.
7. Are you a photon torpedo? Because you hit me directly in the feels.
8. Call me a Borg—I want to make your loneliness futile.
9. Are you a data stream? Because I’m assimilating your every move.
10. Are you from the Delta Quadrant? Because my heart is under your control.
11. Are you a cube? Because you just blocked all my resistance.
12. Are you a transporter? Because you just beamed up my heart.
13. I must be a Borg… because I can’t resist joining you.
14. Are you a sci-fi fan? Because you complete my collective.
15. You must be a starship… because my world revolves around you.

4. Borg Science Jokes

1. Borgs excel in science… because they always assimilate the data.
2. Why did the Borg become a physicist? To master quantum assimilation.
3. I tried explaining science to a Borg… now it owns my lab.
4. Borgs love chemistry—they bond with everything.
5. Why do Borgs hate entropy? They prefer complete order.
6. Borg biology: the ultimate in assimilation efficiency.
7. What’s a Borg’s favorite element? Carbon… they’re full of it.
8. Borg physics: all motion leads to assimilation.
9. A Borg walks into a lab… the experiments get assimilated.
10. Borgs don’t need calculators—they calculate faster than humans.
11. How do Borgs solve equations? With collective intelligence.
12. Borg astronomy: every star is a potential target.
13. Borgs hate chaos—they prefer controlled reactions.
14. Why are Borg engineers the best? They never make mistakes—they assimilate them.
15. Borgs don’t perform experiments—they perfect them.

5. Borg Work Jokes

1. Borgs at work: “Your job is now part of the collective.”
2. Why did the Borg get promoted? They assimilated the competition.
3. I asked a Borg for career advice… now I work for them.
4. Boss Borg: “Your productivity is irrelevant; only assimilation counts.”
5. Why don’t Borgs take coffee breaks? They never need energy.
6. Team meetings with Borgs: Everyone already knows the agenda.
7. Borgs don’t get tired—they recharge slowly.
8. Why was the Borg employee popular? They never argued.
9. Annual reviews with Borgs are scary… and efficient.
10. What’s a Borg’s favorite office supply? The collective stapler.
11. Borgs don’t miss deadlines—they predict them.
12. How does a Borg handle complaints? Assimilate them.
13. Borg HR: “Resistance to company policy is futile.”
14. Why don’t Borgs need resumes? They already know your skills.
15. Borgs don’t retire—they get upgraded.

6. Borg Love Jokes

1. Borg romance: “I have assimilated your heart.”
2. Love is futile… unless you’re a Borg.
3. I gave my heart to a Borg… now it’s part of the collective.
4. Borg relationships are simple: share everything.
5. Want to know if a Borg likes you? They will assimilate your life.
6. Borg dating tip: resistance is optional.
7. Love is logical… and Borg approved.
8. Why did the Borg break up? Too many unassimilated feelings.
9. A Borg in love is a very efficient partner.
10. Borgs don’t flirt—they calculate probability of affection.
11. Cupid’s arrows are obsolete—they have Borg tech.
12. Borgs don’t send roses—they send nanochips.
13. How do Borgs show affection? By sharing data streams.
14. Why did the Borg propose? They analyzed all options.
15. True love according to a Borg: complete synchronization.

7. Borg School Jokes

1. Why did the Borg go to school? To assimilate knowledge.
2. Borg students never cheat—they already know the answers.
3. What’s a Borg’s favorite subject? Computer science.
4. Borgs hate pop quizzes—they prefer calculated tests.
5. Teachers love Borgs… for perfect attendance.
6. Why did the Borg join the chess club? Total control over pawns.
7. Borg lunch: microchips with extra bytes.
8. Borgs don’t do homework—they assimilate it.
9. School assemblies are redundant for Borgs—they know it all.
10. Borgs ace math—they calculate before the question ends.
11. The Borg debate team: unbeatable.
12. What do Borgs carry in backpacks? Spare processors.
13. Borgs don’t need notebooks—they store everything digitally.
14. Science fairs are just another assimilation opportunity.
15. Why did the Borg skip recess? Time is futile.

8. Random Borg Puns & Wordplay

1. I’m feeling a little de-Borg-ed today.
2. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you in my collective thoughts.
3. Resistance may be futile, but puns are essential.
4. Borg on the bright side… always.
5. You can’t escape my pun… it’s assimilated.
6. Byte me, I’m a Borg.
7. Don’t worry, I’ll assimilate the snacks.
8. Feeling robotic? You’re just a pun away.
9. Stay charged… and pun-derful.
10. Borg your heart out with laughter.
11. Collective humor is the best humor.
12. Pun assimilation: the newest trend.
13. Your pun resistance is futile.
14. Borg-tastic jokes incoming.
15. Let’s get this pun collective started!

9. Borg Travel Jokes

1. Why don’t Borgs get lost? They assimilate every map.
2. Borgs don’t need GPS—they are the GPS.
3. Visiting a new planet? Borgs already know the tourist spots.
4. Why did the Borg pack light? They assimilate what they need.
5. Borgs hate traffic—they calculate shortcuts instantly.
6. Airport security loves Borgs—they know all protocols.
7. Borgs don’t need passports—they transcend borders.
8. What’s a Borg’s favorite vacation? Anywhere with Wi-Fi.
9. Why did the Borg visit Earth? To assimilate souvenirs.
10. Cruise ships fear Borgs—they try to assimilate the captain.
11. Borgs don’t get jet lag—they are always online.
12. What’s a Borg’s favorite mode of transport? Cube, obviously.
13. Borgs don’t take road trips—they already know the route.
14. Travel tip: never race a Borg—they arrive before you leave.
15. Borgs always win at sightseeing—they’ve memorized every landmark.

10. Borg Food Jokes

1. What do Borgs eat for lunch? Microchips and bytes.
2. Why don’t Borgs like spicy food? It’s inefficient.
3. Borgs don’t cook—they assimilate recipes.
4. What’s a Borg’s favorite drink? Data cola.
5. Borgs can’t digest pizza—it’s too unpredictable.
6. Why did the Borg bring utensils? To assimilate dinner properly.
7. Borgs don’t need snacks—they recharge automatically.
8. Favorite dessert? Nano-pie with extra bytes.
9. Borgs hate messy kitchens—they prefer everything orderly.
10. What’s a Borg’s favorite fruit? Apple… it’s also a computer.
11. Borgs don’t grocery shop—they assimilate the pantry.
12. Cooking with a Borg? Expect efficiency, not creativity.
13. Borgs don’t chew—they process.
14. Favorite holiday meal? Anything they can assimilate.
15. Borgs don’t dine out—they integrate the restaurant instead.

11. Borg Tech Jokes

1. Borgs don’t need smartphones—they are the network.
2. Why did the Borg join IT? Total control over every system.
3. Borgs don’t get viruses—they are already immune.
4. What’s a Borg’s favorite programming language? All of them.
5. Borg Wi-Fi is always strong—resistance is futile.
6. Tech support loves Borgs—they already know the fix.
7. Why did the Borg update its software? To assimilate more features.
8. Borgs don’t need chargers—they integrate power sources.
9. Favorite gadget? Anything that enhances assimilation.
10. Why are Borgs bad at video games? They always calculate the end first.
11. Borgs don’t scroll—they already know the feed.
12. What’s a Borg’s favorite app? Data Collector.
13. Borgs hate passwords—they bypass them.
14. Why did the Borg invent cloud storage? To assimilate everything.
15. Borgs never need tech manuals—they are the manual.

12. Borg Holiday Jokes

1. Why don’t Borgs decorate for Christmas? The lights interfere with sensors.
2. Borgs love Halloween—they find costumes redundant.
3. What do Borgs give for Valentine’s Day? Nanochips with love.
4. Borgs celebrate New Year by upgrading collectively.
5. Thanksgiving with Borgs? Everything is assimilated.
6. Borgs don’t carve pumpkins—they calculate the perfect design.
7. Favorite holiday song? “Resistance Is Futile, Joy to the World.”
8. Holiday shopping? Borgs assimilate the stores instead.
9. Why don’t Borgs wrap presents? The collective already knows.
10. Borgs love fireworks—they appreciate synchronized displays.
11. Easter with Borgs? They hide eggs for themselves.
12. Borgs don’t need gifts—they collect data instead.
13. Borg Christmas tree? All decorations aligned perfectly.
14. Holiday parties? Borgs prefer collective gatherings.
15. Santa fears Borgs—they’d assimilate the sleigh.

13. Borg Movie Jokes

1. Why don’t Borgs like romantic comedies? Too much unpredictability.
2. Favorite movie genre? Sci-fi, obviously.
3. Borgs don’t need 3D glasses—they see in full collective.
4. Popcorn is futile for a Borg—they already process every scene.
5. Why did the Borg star in a movie? To assimilate the spotlight.
6. Borgs don’t do sequels—they’ve already seen the ending.
7. Action films? Borgs calculate every explosion.
8. Why did the Borg hate horror movies? No one survives.
9. Borgs prefer documentaries—factual and efficient.
10. What’s a Borg’s favorite Star Trek movie? Any with cubes.
11. Movie theaters fear Borgs—they know all plots.
12. Borgs don’t watch trailers—they’ve seen the full film.
13. Romantic scene? Borgs analyze emotional output.
14. Comedy is tricky—Borgs struggle with irony.
15. Borgs don’t rate movies—they rate assimilation efficiency.

14. Borg Music Jokes

1. Borgs don’t dance—they calculate rhythm.
2. Favorite instrument? Keyboard… both musical and computer.
3. Why did the Borg join a band? To integrate sound waves.
4. Borgs don’t hum—they transmit signals.
5. Karaoke night? Borgs always win—they know all lyrics.
6. Favorite genre? Synthwave—naturally robotic.
7. Why don’t Borgs like jazz? Too random.
8. Music festivals? Borgs collect everyone’s playlists.
9. Borgs love choir—perfect synchronization.
10. What’s a Borg’s favorite note? C… for “collective.”
11. Borgs don’t need earbuds—they hear everything.
12. Singing? Borgs prefer auto-tune… naturally.
13. What’s a Borg’s favorite song? Anything in perfect harmony.
14. Dance floor? Borgs calculate optimal steps.
15. Borgs don’t applaud—they assimilate the sound.

15. Borg Fitness Jokes

1. Borgs don’t exercise—they assimilate energy.
2. Favorite workout? Resistance training… oh wait, resistance is futile.
3. Borgs don’t run—they calculate optimal paths.
4. Gym selfies? Borgs upload data streams.
5. Why did the Borg join yoga? Perfect alignment with the collective.
6. Borgs don’t sweat—they radiate efficiency.
7. Favorite sport? Any they can dominate mathematically.
8. Borgs lift weights—they lift expectations.
9. Gym memberships are futile—they integrate the equipment.
10. Borgs don’t need protein shakes—they assimilate nutrients.
11. Running on a treadmill? Borgs already know the finish line.
12. Borgs don’t play soccer—they predict every goal.
13. Fitness class? Borgs lead… effortlessly.
14. Favorite exercise? Data crunches.
15. Borgs always track their progress—perfectly.

16. Borg Animal Jokes

1. Why don’t Borgs have pets? They assimilate the pets.
2. Borgs don’t chase cats—they calculate their path.
3. Favorite animal? Robot dogs.
4. What do Borgs feed fish? Nano-chips.
5. Birds fear Borgs—they know every flight pattern.
6. Borgs don’t adopt pets—they assimilate their energy.
7. Zoo trips are futile—they’ve memorized all animals.
8. Why did the Borg join a horse race? Calculated victory.
9. Borgs don’t play fetch—they fetch themselves.
10. Favorite insect? Termites—perfect assimilation.
11. Borgs love dolphins—they are logical and cooperative.
12. Cat videos? Borgs already own them.
13. Borgs never scare animals—they just analyze them.
14. Birdwatching? Borgs catalog every species.
15. Pets don’t need names—they are in the collective.

17. Borg Gaming Jokes

1. Why are Borgs great at video games? They predict every move.
2. Favorite game? Chess… obviously.
3. Borgs don’t rage quit—they calculate defeat.
4. Multiplayer? Borgs dominate collectively.
5. Board games? Resistance is futile.
6. Favorite console? Anything online.
7. Borgs never lose—algorithms prevent it.
8. Game nights? Borgs assimilate everyone’s strategies.
9. Borgs love puzzle games—they solve instantly.
10. Winning streak? Borgs predict it before starting.
11. Favorite card game? Any with probabilities.
12. Roleplay games? Borgs automate characters.
13. Game controllers? Borgs prefer direct connection.
14. Why did the Borg quit arcade games? Too slow.
15. Gaming achievements? Borgs already unlocked all.

18. Borg Fashion Jokes

1. Borgs don’t wear hats—they already have headgear.
2. Favorite color? Silver… naturally.
3. Borgs don’t accessorize—they are accessories.
4. Why don’t Borgs wear shoes? Efficiency first.
5. Fashion shows fear Borgs—they predict trends.
6. Borgs don’t iron—they assimilate smoothness.
7. Favorite outfit? Cybernetic chic.
8. Borgs don’t do laundry—they integrate cleanliness.
9. Borgs don’t follow trends—they create them.
10. Jewelry? Only functional.
11. Borgs don’t need mirrors—they know style.
12. Fashion critics fear Borgs—they never fail.
13. Wardrobes? Borgs calculate efficiency.
14. Favorite accessory? Data cables.
15. Borgs don’t dress up—they upgrade.

19. Borg Party Jokes

1. Borgs don’t dance—they calculate moves.
2. Party favors? Assimilated.
3. Borgs don’t sing—they broadcast.
4. Music volume? Borgs adjust automatically.
5. Why are Borg parties efficient? No chaos allowed.
6. Party games? Borgs always win.
7. Borgs don’t RSVP—they already know.
8. Birthday cake? Assimilated.
9. Decorations? Perfectly aligned.
10. Borgs don’t toast—they integrate the speech.
11. Fun is mandatory… for the collective.
12. Photo booth? Borgs store memories.
13. Party playlist? Calculated for efficiency.
14. Drinks? Borgs integrate hydration.
15. Parties with Borgs? Resistance is futile.

20. Borg Relationship Jokes

1. Borg couples always communicate—direct data stream.
2. Arguments are futile—they assimilate solutions.
3. Date night? Calculated for maximum efficiency.
4. Romantic gifts? Nanochips.
5. Borgs don’t forget anniversaries—they store everything.
6. Breakups? Rare—they assimilate emotions.
7. Long-distance? Borgs transmit signals instantly.
8. Love letters? Digitally delivered.
9. Romantic gestures? Algorithmically perfect.
10. Borgs don’t whisper—they transmit.
11. Compliments? Always calculated.
12. First date nerves? Not for Borgs.
13. Borg hugs? Integrated and warm.
14. Sharing chores? Efficient and equal.
15. Relationship advice? Always logical.

21. Borg Birthday Jokes

1. Your birthday is now part of the collective.
2. Borg birthday candles? Automated extinguishers.
3. Birthday cake? Fully assimilated.
4. Presents? Already opened and cataloged.
5. Birthday wishes? Processed and stored.
6. Party games? Everyone wins… or is assimilated.
7. Happy Birthday? Resistance is futile.
8. Birthday balloons? Monitored for efficiency.
9. Cards? Already digitized.
10. Birthday songs? Perfectly synchronized.
11. Birthday selfies? Stored in collective memory.
12. Candles? Calculated burn time.
13. Birthday piñata? Assimilated quickly.
14. Confetti? Algorithmically dispersed.
15. Birthday parties? Perfectly organized.

22. Borg Workplace Humor

1. Borgs don’t ask for help—they already know.
2. Meetings? Futile—they already know the agenda.
3. Borg managers don’t micromanage—they assimilate.
4. Coffee breaks? Optional… resistance is futile.
5. Performance reviews? Calculated efficiently.
6. Deadlines? Borgs predict them.
7. Emails? Already read and responded.
8. Office politics? Assimilated and neutralized.
9. Teamwork? Borgs excel collectively.
10. Friday feeling? Processed.
11. Office gossip? Already known.
12. Training sessions? Optional for Borgs.
13. Work from home? Borgs are always online.
14. Office printer? Borgs integrate it.
15. Promotions? Predictable… and earned.

23. Borg Space Jokes

1. Why don’t Borg get lost in space? Collective navigation.
2. Borgs don’t fear black holes—they calculate escape.
3. Favorite planet? One with data streams.
4. Space walks? Borgs perfect trajectory.
5. Starships fear Borgs—they assimilate instantly.
6. Alien encounters? Cataloged.
7. Space debris? Assimilated.
8. Borg telescope? Always knows where stars are.
9. Warp speed? Already calculated.
10. Borgs don’t sleep—they monitor space.
11. Moon walks? Efficient steps only.
12. Meteor showers? Analyzed for fun.
13. Space pirates? Futile.
14. Space stations? Borgs dominate.
15. Favorite constellation? Data cluster.

24. Random Borg One-Liners

1. Borgs don’t crack jokes—they compute punchlines.
2. Why did the Borg cross the street? To assimilate the other side.
3. Borg puns? Resistance is futile.
4. Borgs don’t tell secrets—they share them.
5. Favorite board game? Connect Four—perfect alignment.
6. Borg coffee? Always at optimal temperature.
7. Why don’t Borgs gossip? Already assimilated info.
8. Borgs love routines—predictable and perfect.
9. Why did the Borg fail at hide-and-seek? Too bright.
10. Favorite time of day? Collective assembly.
11. Borg humor is… algorithmically optimized.
12. Borgs don’t procrastinate—they integrate tasks.
13. Why did the Borg go to therapy? To assimilate emotions.
14. Favorite color? Binary… 0 and 1.
15. Borgs don’t cry—they process.

25. Borg Wordplay & Puns

1. Resistance is futile… but laughter is inevitable.
2. Borgasmic moments happen when jokes land perfectly.
3. Stay Borg-tastic and punny!
4. Byte-sized jokes are the best.
5. Collective laughter is contagious.
6. Don’t fight the Borg—they fight back with humor.
7. Puns are assimilated faster than humans can react.
8. Borg-ed and confused? Never!
9. Humor upgrades your day—Borg approved.
10. Cybernetic puns never get old.
11. Borg-lieve in laughter.
12. Pun assimilation is an art.
13. Keep calm and assimilate humor.
14. Borgs don’t need comedians—they are their own.
15. Wordplay? Always efficient and funny.

FAQ

Q1: Why are Borg jokes so popular? A: Borg jokes blend nostalgia, sci-fi themes, and clever wordplay. They’re relatable, geeky, and endlessly adaptable for social media, parties, or casual fun.

Q2: How can I share these Borg jokes online? A: Use one-liners for Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, or Discord. Short, witty jokes perform best and get shared quickly.

Q3: Are these jokes safe for kids? A: Yes! Every joke is family-friendly and perfect for young Trekkies or anyone who loves clean humor.

Q4: Can I create my own Borg puns? A: Absolutely! Focus on assimilation, Star Trek references, technology, and clever wordplay.

Q5: Why do people love one-liner humor? A: One-liners are quick, memorable, and shareable—perfect for today’s fast-paced, scroll-heavy social media culture.

Conclusion

Whether you’re a lifelong Trekkie or just love clever wordplay, Borg jokes show that even the most fearsome cybernetic beings can be funny. From puns to one-liners, these jokes are perfect for social media, parties, or brightening someone’s day. Stay positive, funny, and creative—and remember: resistance to laughter is truly futile!